We are all broken, that’s how the light gets in.

Ernest Hemingway (x)

"After wrapping Guardians of the Galaxy I was very homesick and I was coming home to my wife and my son, who at the time was 13 months old. My wife told me ‘Hey, listen there’s a chance he may not recognize you and he may be a little shy’ and so I came in there, and he just sat right up and had this big smile on his face. He started saying ‘Daddy, daddy, daddy!’ and I just started to cry. He saw the tears in my eyes and started doing bits to make me laugh and that just made me cry more."

- Chris Pratt on the best day of his life.

(Source: squidward-tenassholes)


Denis, May 2014
Mamiya RZ67 / Kodak Tri-X
© Selina Mayer 2014


Denis, May 2014

Mamiya RZ67 / Kodak Tri-X

© Selina Mayer 2014


A week in the life of an almost-23-year old (one more week… yikes). I’ve been a grown-up for quite a while now and I still have no dang clue how to do this life thing…? Will I ever start acting my age? Will my painful obsession with One Direction ever fade?

What is your aesthetic?


Your best friend who moved away last year has returned to your hometown.  You plan a nice indoor picnic for you to reconnect and have some fun.  They call, tired, explaining how long the drive was and how they “really wanted to but have to reschedule.”

Carefully, you place the cheese platter and the salami back in your fridge, having to make room by throwing out half of your own birthday cake from last Wednesday.  You worry that the half-cake now in your trash can will attract ants but realize that there is nothing you can do about it because the garbage-men don’t come for another four days.

It’s midday and you wish your friend was here so you could remember what fun times you used to have.  Shaking the feeling off, you head outside and start walking through your neighborhood.  It’s fall and severely windy.  You shiver through the gusts and embrace the sun’s gaze.  You wish you had brought your jacket to put over your plain grey sweatshirt. 

A lady walking a dog passes by you.  You make room for her and her pup, moving uneasily to the grass as the dog yelps at your feet.  You want to say Good Afternoon, establish some sort of human connection, even to a stranger, but she has already moved past you.  The cold covers up the terrible feeling in the pit of your stomach.

Upset at yourself for the terrible decision to walk without a coat, you turn around awkwardly at the street corner and head back home.  Several minutes pass until you again spot the lady walking her dog.  She approaches you, and for the first time you miraciously have the confidence to take a long look at her face.  She is smiling genuinely.  You smile back.  You kneel to pet her dog.  It’s your favorite breed and you tell her that.  She smiles again, introduces herself and you do the same.  The sun bursts through the clouds and your phone vibrates from deep within your pocket.  It’s your old friend and they have changed their mind, now ready to come over to your place, if that’s alright with you. 


Shot At The Night - The Killers

To find our way home, to break in these bones
Once in a lifetime…

I treated myself to a solo mini-adventure today. Goodness, New York is a BEAUTIFUL place. Especially now that it’s turning into fall. I drove about 20 minutes north to the town of Sleepy Hollow where I visited the Sleepy Hollow Cemetery, where Washington Irving is buried. I walked all over the place, crossed the Headless Horseman Bridge, and sat on a bench in front of the creek for a little while. It was wonderful being there in the morning time before the rest of the world was out and about. It’s a giant cemetery, and I only saw three other people during the hour and a half I spent there. I can’t tell you how refreshing it was to feel like I had escaped the from the rest of the world for a little while. I live directly north of New York City (the northernmost area of Manhattan is 12ish miles south of me) so I’m around a lot of people all the time. The roads have a considerable amount of traffic, the grocery store is always packed, there’s always a line everywhere you go… it can be exhausting. So finding a quiet (albeit creepy) pocket of nature on a chilly autumn morning was exactly what I was craving. 

After my time at the cemetery, I ventured across the street to the shore of the Hudson River where I took a lovely walk and enjoyed the view. 

I had such a nice time by myself. I can’t imagine how much nicer it would have been with another person. 


when you hate your legs 
remember that they carried you through the hardest parts of your life. they get you out of bed every day and take you to what you love.

when you hate your stomach
remember that it helped you gain strength. it holds the memories of deep laughter and great meals. it is full of warmth and joy.

when you hate your arms
remember that they are strong, which makes you strong. but they are also soft and can be used to cuddle and hold the ones you love.


I’m back in New York after my wonderful, too-short trip back home to Georgia, where I spent my days trying my darndest to soak up every minute. I totally underestimated how distance + time away from the people/places/things I love would impact me. I felt so emotional and a deep fondness for my family and friends my entire trip. Sadly, it was a bit difficult to be in the moment when I knew I had to fly back to New York in a few days to continue this adulthood thing (working my butt off). 

I loved being home, but I also felt like I didn’t quite belong there anymore. That makes me so sad but also kind of relieved that I made the right decision to make a move a few months ago. Gah, my 20’s thus far have been so strange. Such a roller coaster. (And in a few weeks, I’ll be 23????) Some nights I’ll just lie in bed and have a little cry (like the past two nights). I search for a reason but I can’t pinpoint one. I think it’s just growing pains. 

I don’t know what else to say. Life is just weird. 


*sees a dog*

me: holy shit


tbh i just need a hug

How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.

A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh (x)